Will be leaving for my 2nd yr of studies in two days time..here im taking a little break from the packing.admin stuff and meetups with close friends to have a good reflection about the past yr. I left for London on the 25th of Sep last yr..just a lil over one yr from today..my parents were with me through my first days in London...everything was so new and fresh..and everywhere was endless amount of surprises and new opportunities. To me, it was a dream come true to be able to study overseas and doing something which I think is enjoyable and challenging..and one yr later as I looked back at my decision..recalling all the days of endless interviews..discussion with parents and debating with myself about going overseas and staying for med....im really glad that i've made the right decision:)Nothing compares an overseas education and the wonderful experiences of travelling together with friends...cooking with my cooking mates...laughing from my heart when i was in paris...late night rehearsals for excess baggage...lugging the hwa chong nite styrofoams from singapore to london..running from event to event for the finance society committee..getting really stressed for exams towards the end...sleeping over at xiufang's place and my tiny but cosy room...visiting shimmie at her hotel-like hall....or even just the simple chinatown dinner and dim sums..everything cant be summarised within one paragraph or one entry..but all the exciting memories and happy days will stay in my heart....and on one hand, Im sad about leaving my parents, my dear friends in Singapore and only be able to see them next yr..but on the other hand, im excited about the new yr ahead..living with my housemates for the first time ever....working towards my career and the many many opportunities which lies ahead of me...life is beautiful and im such a lucky girl!! Hope the next yr will be as exciting and a complete different experience as the last. For the first yr, I did try some new stuff but there are so much so much that I really want to do in my second yr..I want it to be a different one from the first...perhaps opening up more to the other i'tels and committing myself to some stuff which I've not done before...and of cos making sure that I will study hard and play hard at the same time. There are just so many opportunities lying before me and nothing is ever enough...
The 4.5 mths hol has been really really relaxing for me...I think it is prob going to be my last longest hol..I enjoyed myself alot..enriched myself with the rich shanghai culture and business circle:) of cos not forgetting all the yummy food..cheap shopping...sightseeing and spending time with my new found friend, xiaoyun:) The two mths in Singapore was spent with my grandparents, parents and closest friends:) I realise I din really take lots of photos this time in singapore..but all of you will stay in my heart, close to me:) There were lots of time for me to slack..wake up late...do anything w/o having to rush from here to there..everything just seemed to have slowed down...however, there are still so much so much there's unsettled as im about to leave the country. Perhaps, not everything in this world can be solved promptly..perhaps there are things that really require time to show...but it's so heartbreaking to see my parents worrying so much about me...esp my mom..how she always tells me that she cant sleep well in the nite..and is aging bcos of me...it's really saddening having to face all these at home..having only so lil time spent at home...and leaving them for at least half a year...sometimes i really really do feel like giving up, do wonder if i've made the right choice, do wonder if im being such an unfilial daughter...sometimes i will feel the other way...im going to use all my courage to fight on bcos i know u care and u do feel for me and u do love me...but there are also times when i cant even convince myself...when will all these feelings go away...when will i know what's really the right decision for me...i hope that one day there will be a day..when i can really control and know what is the right thing for me...and when i can be 100% convinced....
maybe that's growing up and everyone just have to go thru it...yes one day i will be able to make my decision for myself..and one day i will be able to smile again from the bottom of my heart...im fortunate to be where i am today..having the love of so many on me...compared to the characters in the chi documentaries which i watch in shanghai...perhaps i should just let nature take its course..perhaps one day i will be enlightened!
:)Rem Lucky girl! Life is beautiful~
11:20 AM
~innocent always
16.9.07
情真情深曾经 你我的心
就犹如 漂浮不定 的浮萍
毫无方向的飘流~
而今 我们再度
回到美丽的城土
过去的风风雨雨 我们从不曾忘记
日复一日 一次又一次 的迷惘
总有你在身旁 伴我走过这一段
凭一份真挚的心为黄城而努力~
不管途中遇到多少打击
黄城 你我的家
是我们彼此系缘的地方
一个充满温暖的天堂
纵然 美好时光 就像流星一般短暂
我们也珍惜现在 决不让岁月流白
(重复*)日复一日 当我们逐渐的成长
回头重望那段遥远坎坷的路程
但愿纯真的友谊 永远埋藏心底
让我们的故事 我们的歌曲
点亮每一颗心灵
MAF 2007......
2:59 PM
~innocent always
10.9.07
this world is just too complicated for my little brain and small heart..why cant everything be simpler..why are there so much to think about..the unknown future seem so scary and one can never tell what will happen..what is true happiness or blissfulness...who is the right one...who will grow old with u..who will be your true friends forever...life is like a black hole..an endless tunnel...will i ever get to see the tiny flame at the other side of the tunnel?
11:36 AM
~innocent always
4.9.07
Yippeee..im home!! I love my grandmama, grandpapa, mummy and daddy:) They are so so so cute!! Although the last week has been rather mentally distressing...but I feel that I've grown up, learnt alot of new things and realised who's truly good to me:):) *hugs to you!!
