this is the first entry of the year..looking at the first entry i made last yr when i was so bogged down by the applications of uni, scholarships, internships, driving tuition, work and uncertainties..i should really be fortunate that now im already realising my dreams of studying overseas in one of the best colleges in the world and immersing myself in so much so much more that i could have never imagined last time...and after which i read all the previous entries in my blog..it's really interesting to read about the different stages of me and they really brought back a lot a lot of fond memories! haha..one entry was about how i was complaining studying has never been so difficult in the past during j2..and that's precisely the feeling i get now sometimes..but i often told my friends that A-levels seemed so much better. Perhaps after we've been thru that stage and looking back then, everything seemed so much easier. Perhaps in a few years time when I start working and when i look thru the blog entries at this stage of my life, i will also be smiling and having the same feeling:) After reading my previous entries really made me feel very happy..hee..it's really good to reflect and reminisce about the past once in a while..only then can we know how lucky we are now and how much we have changed. I realised that I din blog alot during my A-levels..the number of entries in 2 years was only about 10...guess i was really too bogged down by studying and other stuff or maybe cos i had more friends to talk to in school. The number of entries grew last year when I became more free aft the A-levels...esp during my internship when I could blog nearly everyday cos i had so much free time and was feeling bored..haha..and when i came to london, blogging seemed to have become a weekly event. I guess I will keep it that way..unless i have more free time to spare. But i believe that blogging is really a good way for me to reflect on my life and to update my friends (and family) about me. So from now on, I will try to keep at least one night for me to reflect on what I've been thru the entire week and to remind myself of the beautiful and happy things in life:)
One thing which bothers me alot after reading thru my entries is that I have yet to really grow up. Becoming more mature and emotionally stronger has always been my new year resolution for the past years and yet it seems that I've yet to make it come true (esp the second one). I believe that I have become more mature these few years esp after I've seen so much more about life and have been thru quite alot of tests and uncertainties and life. But it seems like I am still a big step away from being strong (emotionally). ONCE AGAIN, this year I will put it as my new yr resolution and I really hope that by next yr when I look back, I can proudly tell myself that I have taken big steps towards it!:) I am confident it will esp since now I'm away from home.
Since I've mentioned new year resolution, well..i havent really had the time to think about my new yr resolution this yr..esp when I've been quite troubled over certain things at the beginning of the new yr (but everything is all right now:)...maybe i should list some possible ones here:
1. To be STRONGER!
2. To LOVE MYSELF even more, Be HAPPY and GRACIOUS!
(only when i love myself more then i can....)
3. To love those who LOVE me even MORE!
actually that's about all that i have cos I realise that with these 3, i will be able to achieve whatever i want:) 4. Oh ya one more TO STAY HEALTHY! (im getting to unhealthy! must have more self-control:) i was feeling really quite depressed when i first came back to london....really really depressed that i thought that my world is going to end...and now i know the reason for it....that is bcos at that point of time i've forgotten about how lucky i am and how so many people love me and treasure me...i've forgotten to be strong, to be happy, to be gracious and to love more!..so from now on...im going to put all the negative thoughts aside...i will constantly remind myself about all the beautiful and happy things which has happened to me and are happening on and around me at this moment. After writing all these.. my heart just feels really really light and happy and I'm smiling as I am typing..it seems like i've taken a big load off my heart and my mind...let's take a look at the beautiful things in life....
